You know you’re a bully. Yes, you. Every time you’re looking at yourself in the mirror saying, “OMG, I’m so fat”, “My hair is a disaster”, “I’m such a loser”, or ”I’m never gonna be successful”. Why do you feel the need to be such a troll with yourself? Don’t blame fashion or media; you are mean because you want to be.
How do I know this? Easy. I’m a recovering bully. As hard as it is, I put myself down every chance I get. I continuously told myself that I wasn’t pretty enough, skinny enough, or smart enough to do whatever I wanted to do and that was why I hadn’t accomplished anything for myself.
I was afraid to fail (still am, but I know it’s a long process). I used to think that I had bad luck but that’s simply not true. Let me explain, I blamed my bad luck for not getting that job that I wanted or that apartment we liked. Instead of looking the big picture, I was moving forward and I was afraid to deal with the change. But lesson learned, don’t make plans because everything changes. Make goals instead of plans. And fake it till you make it.
Bullying yourself is too petty. Being a troll is too easy. Being scared is not. Accepting that you’re scared of change or failure is hard. If you’re willing to change that, you’re one step ahead of not being a bully. If you feel like you could be skinnier, make a plan and have a goal to lose the extra weight. If you hate your job and want to do something different, work for it, quit your job and do something you love. Find some joy in yourself and stop punishing you.
Goals keep you motivated and resolutions are the best way to go. Plans (if that’s all you have) make you anxious, and when something changes you’ll be freaking out and bullying yourself. Make your resolution to stop being a bully, stop being scared of faillure and let go of it. Try as many times as you can. You’re not perfect and that’s awesome. None of us are.